"I don't know how to forgive myself, having caused the injury on a helpless little girl."

I was hurrying to get to the church. I was going to sing the psalm for the 4th Mass (Cebuano) of the 22nd Sunday of this Ordinary Time. When I got near to the church's gate, I noticed that the 3rd Mass was still going on. I decided to drive my motorcycle on the left path of the cathedral. I had to move really slow so not to disturb the celebration. I was surprised when suddenly a kid ran fast from near the plant box, without me knowing it. She got hit. My vehicle was almost not running but I guess she hit herself onto it. I just realized that something happened when I saw a girl, tumbled on the pathway. I thought it wasn't that injuring but when she was picked by her mother (who is an acquaintance), I saw blood on her forehead and mouth. I was devastated by what I saw. At the time, there was no amount of reasoning that could ease my guilt. Up to this very time, I don't know how to forgive myself, having caused the little, helpless girl's injury. As it happened, one extra ordinary minister of the communion advised me to bring the kid to the hospital. With her mother, we proceeded to the nearest hospital. The girl was right away attended by a nurse, Rommel, who was one of my students before. I could only give an amount, and I left the hospital after making sure that the kid has been accordingly treated. I was somehow relieved that her mother understood the situation.

I proceeded to the church. There, I caught the procession of the Priest, father Arnel with us, the lectors, together with the altar servers and extra ordinary ministers of communion. I was really uneasy. Despite the guilt, I managed to sing psalm 63 "My soul is thirsting for You, O Lord, my God." In the course of the liturgy, all I do was pray that the kid is well, and that my guilt be taken away. O God, give me the strength to get through this. I am simply so weak. Grant me O God, mercy and grace, that I may become strong amidst this experience. Amen.

Image: http://leadingfamilies.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/anxious-child.png

Trusting someone you just met

May 22, 2011, I was on my way to Malaybalay City in the Province of Bukidnon. The bus stopped for awhile for the passengers had to step on an antiseptic mat before proceeding to the province. I heard one passenger asking where the Benedictine Monastery (at Paul VI Institute of Liturgy) is located. I too, was going to the same venue. We had a little chat about our going there. The driver assistant told us that we'd be dropped at the bus stop in Malaybalay. It was our first time there so we did not know that there is really a bus terminal, where the participants are picked.

I came to know Adette, who is from Manila, when we arrived at the bus stop. I was a bit confident that we'd get to the venue that easy since Kuya Manny, who is a friend, has been there at the PIL for a month already. He would help me get to the venue. He sent me a message that we will be picked at the Mercury Drug Store. We asked some people there where the store is. It was raining at the time. I was told that it is near Land Bank. I left my baggage to Adette for we have decided that I go to the store, and get back to her at once. There, I waited for more than an hour already. I did not know then that the one (Edson) who would get us was also waiting AT ANOTHER MERCURY DRUG STORE. Kuya Manny was already alarmed and he asked for another vehicle to get us. He called me up and asked my exact location. At the time, I was worried about Adette. She is from Manila and it would be difficult for her to communicate with the people there. I was also thinking that she might have proceeded to the venue with a possible help from some fellow.

Finally, they spotted where I was. I told them that I was with a co-participant. The one driving the vehicle is a Benedictine Monk. I could not forget his words, "Bakit ka nagtiwala?" I suddenly realized, that truly, why did I entrust my baggage to a fellow, whom I just met. I told him that I just trust her. We eventually got to where Adette was and, yes, we were successfully brought to the PIL. There, for ten days, I have known more about the person I just met and then trusted right away. I was so right. Adette is truly a friendly, lighthearted and a good fellow. PIL became a place where I met and became a friend to the people, who serve God in the ministry of music.

Film Review: The Count of Monte Cristo

"God will give me justice."

The movie was shown in 2002. I haven't seen the entire show until this morning. I was feeling bored and I had only one option: to watch whatever movie is available on the external drive. I just simply clicked "Count of..." and watched.

I saw how one could be inflicted with injustice, just as the lead actor in the character of "Edmond" had from even his closest friend. His being naive hugely brought him to an ordeal that was so unlikely to be resolved - he was imprisoned in a stone-walled cell in a remote island. For years, he constantly scratched the etches on the stone wall that said: "God will give me justice" until there came a point when he lost his hope in God. He unexpectedly befriended "Priest" who was instrumental to both his escape and transformation. He was taught on how to read and write and economics, and other important lessons. Although he lost his faith in God, he clearly was godly in his being a good fellow to the old Priest. He managed to escape from prison on the day Priest died. Before his death, Priest gave a map of treasure in Monte Cristo to Edmond. Edmond became unimaginably rich and he addressed himself as the Count of Monte Cristo. He had his revenge on the people who caused him his pain. Having won back the love of his life "Mercedes", with unexpected reunion of his son, he could only afford to have his faith revived. He would have wanted to destroy Château d'If (where he was imprisoned) but he opted to have it lived as it would be his reminder that there is God, who gives justice.