Erika Nessa turns 2

After what our family has been through, we joyfully celebrate today the birthday of the youngest grand daughter of mamang and our departed papang, with feasting and prayer.

A thanks-giving intention was offered during the daily mass this morning. The celebrator was brought by her mother with Joshua and mamang to the St. Joseph Cathedral and heard today's early Eucharist. Toti and Daylin, her mother prepared the food for the dinner, when we would be celebrating as family the birthday of In-in. Mamang led the prayer, with bible readings. In-in excitedly blew her candle, and then the kids and the not-anymore-kids feasted the sumptuous dinner. After the dinner, we proceeded on praying the 10th day of prayer for the souls of our beloved departed.

Moving On

Yesterday at 9 am, we (I, mamang and Daylin) accompanied the prayer group to offer prayers at papang's tomb in Autumn Woods on the last day of Novena for my father's soul. Somewhere at the concluding part, I sang Salve Regina, asking for the intercession of our Lady to lead papang's soul to the Blessed fruit of her womb - Jesus. At night, the Novena was prayed in its completion. Earlier, mamang attended the 6 am mass, where we offered prayer intention for the eternal repose of papang's soul.

It is really now the time to move on and get involved back to our daily routines, having the faith that our beloved departed, now rests in the loving arms of our Creator. However, mortal and helpless as we are, we shall continue to pray for papang's eternal salvation. We shall never put into oblivion the memories we shared, while he's still here on earth. Just this morning, mamang woke up early and she heard the 6 am mass. The kids at home got themselves ready for the school. My sister Daday and I did our usual preparations before reporting to our respective duties. Mamang has started to be once again busy with her coop's concerns. We have seen the people we used to meet, done the works we used to accomplish and walked on the paths we usually pass by. This is the usual life. The only lacking person in the picture is that of papang's. But having him here in our hearts and thoughts, he's really not that far. Yes, we have to move on; move on, not forgetting the love of papang for us, that we owe him a life lived to its fullest. For it is by our good deeds that we become close to God, the God who takes care of papang's soul in His heavenly home.

Papang is finally laid to rest today

At 7 am, fr. Dodong presided the funeral mass for my father. The ceremonies and the liturgy allowed us to express the grief we felt as papang's interment was coming closer. We drew strength from each other, as family, specially that our relatives were around at that time. The Interlude choir filled the celebration with beautiful, memorable hymns. The attendance at papang's funeral mass was unexpected. At past 8 am, we brought our father in his coffin to Autumn Woods Memorial Park in Taway. With the help of some friends, those who mourned with us were ferried to the park with vehicles, which were served for free. Papang's place of burial had been orderly readied before we arrived there. Nonoy lead the burial prayers before the interment. I could hear the mourning of my sisters as papang in his casket, was brought down to the ground. All I could say was to hope that he may have a peaceful journey towards his heavenly home. I stood beside my mamang, as I felt the grace of strength that kept me peaceful. Then the tomb was completely covered. They placed the gravestone with my father's name etched therein. They covered his tomb with the flowers offered at his wake. Mamang, Dyan, Daday and I prayed at papang's grave, where we lighted two candles.

Papang's earthly body now rests in a peaceful place; his soul now reunites with the Father who created him. Our relatives have just left us back to their places. And we at home, take our well-deserved relaxation. A sense of joy now fills me, having seen how we have given our father an honorable, memorable and peaceful interment. May he truly rest peacefully in the arms of his Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ the Lord.

It's the last vigil for papang

(12:46 am)

At 5:30 pm of January 13, father Elmer came and presided a funeral mass for papang. I attended the celebration late since I was the accompanist for the high mass of the Feast of the Black Nazarene here in Ipil. I found that my Dinglasa cousins arrived, as soon as I saw Didi, their eldest. I almost cried when I saw their presence. My father should be so glad that his sister's and brother's children are here to console us.

After the liturgy, the usual novena prayer proceeded. Few minutes later, the CFC served memorial service at papang's last wake. Noli accompanied the group in singing beautiful songs, which papang used to sing when he was still here. Then our family offered our prayer to papang. Diday and Lyn-lyn were the lectors, as I lead the rite. We said our prayers asking for the strength from the Almighty and praying for the eternal repose of our father's soul. Earlier, all of us cousins here present, exchanged joyful thoughts at papang's wake. Had he been alive, our conversations would have been more vibrant. I think this has been the time papang was looking forward to - that we have a family reunion, and it just happened.

Hours from now, papang will be finally laid to rest. At 7 am, a funeral mass will be held at the Parish Cathedral. All I pray this time is that the Good Lord strengthen our family as we will be confronting with the pain of seeing our father left at the memorial park. Later on, we will be moving on with our lives, without him. May the God of peace grant us serenity, which will enable us to realize that finally, papang's pains have come to an end; that this is the very time to experience tranquility, having the thought that our father is at the loving care of his Creator.

Our Relatives Visited; Some have Arrived from Far Distances

Yesterday, our closest relative here in Ipil, auntie Rosmin, with her son and our Querubin relatives in Sta. Clara Naga, visited us. Jonathan, Dyan's husband and their children arrived from Cebu. Earlier this day, from Margusatubig, Neneng, our eldest' wife with AJ their youngest came home. The one and only brother of papang, uncle Henie with his wife auntie Malou came home this afternoon from Lapuyan. Later, all the way from GenSan, Auntie Delsa, mamang's aunt and auntie Nida, my mother's younger sister followed. They were in the same bus with our first cousin Jun-jun, who also arrived this afternoon from Pagadian. Just this time of writing, my first cousins Mac-mac, Mayan and Ukong came home, braving the heavy downpour. We have been informed that more of our relatives will be coming. My sister Daday's mother-in-law is also here.

Their arrival and visits brought consolation to our family. They offered listening ears to the experiences we went through our father's death. The warmth of thoughts, touch and embrace truly consoles us. Traveling entails sacrifice not only of time and money but also of one's health, as it is energy-requiring. But they still come and mourn with us. Life this time is truly difficult but with our family's relatives around, there are reasons to be stronger. Their presence signifies the helping hand of God, which constantly answers all our needs. There is nothing to worry what might come ahead of us for our family is not alone in our grief. As it is written, "the hand of the Lord feeds us, he answers all our needs." (Ps. 145) Praise be the Lord's name forever. Amen.

Seeing the Coming Days of Deeper Mourning

The tears have dried up since papang's moment of death. Our family has found joy in the consoling condolences, financial assistance and prayers from friends. Everyone has already the strength to smile and laugh a little bit. The fate of our father has somehow sunk into our thoughts.

But now that the days are getting closer to the time, when we shall finally have papang's interment, I start to have these anxious thoughts. How would our family stand through the sorrowful burial rites? How should we easily move on without our beloved father? Whatever happens to mamang, who constantly accompany papang, when he was still here?

Just this morning, my brother-in-law Athan asked me if I could have enough strength to accompany the singing of the choir during the funeral mass. I told him that I used to serve other people; why can't I do that to my own father. I went to the church this afteroon. There, I realized that indeed, it wouldn't be that easy playing the musical instrument while seeing my family mourn inside the church. Sister Au told me that none of their family members participated in the liturgy support and they just heard the mass while mourning. I think I'd be just sitting where my family would be.

I want to pray more intensely and intently. I want to say prayers with my family, that the Good Lord grant us strength to endure the pains of weeping and loneliness. Yes, we have let go of papang already. But the heart simply could not easily bear the thought that papang would not be anymore physically present.

Only God's love and grace would allow our family to go through these very difficult times. We love our father very much. We would be deeply hurt to be separated from him. Let the thought that he is anyway going to the heavenly home, arise above all these worries. All shall be well in the presence of the Lord.

Our Family's Friends Continue to Offer Prayer Services

On the fourth day since my father's death, prayers from friends continue to serve at his wake. My Interlude Family, with Sister Aurea, OSB (who just arrived from her trip) were the first to offer prayers yesterday. I accompanied the singing using the portable organ here at home. I heard that sister Au has already sent the name of my papang to be included in the prayers of their Benedictine group. The leaders of the Chapels here in Sanito came next. Mr. Dayuday was the group's guitarist with Bro. Carbaquil as the prayer leader. Papang used to actively work as a minister at Our Lady of Lourdes Chapel in this barrio. He not only contributed to the spiritual growth of the assembly but also helped in the physical enhancement of the house of the Lord. The third novena was prayed last night with Mrs. Flores as the usual leader. Since she caught up the presence of the leaders here in Sanito, the same group participated in the novena. The last group to offer prayer service were the Couples for Christ, CFC. The group leaders came in good number with Mr. Cescon as the prayer leader. The service was filled with beautiful CFC hymns, which brought me to recall the songs papang and mamang used to sing here home. My parents were active leaders of this ministry. I remember the times papang was asking me to translate in Cebuano the prepared English discussions of the CFC Christian Life Program. We were having great moments talking about what he would have to discuss as a speaker of certain talks. But as soon as he became a minister at our chapel here, he left the CFC.

Our friends online express their condolences, thoughts and prayers to us. The show of support from these people through the FB personal and group pages is heart-warming. Many have come to know about papang's fate through the Internet. Even Sr. Milflor, who is based in Angola, Africa knew what happened and expressed her sympathy to us.

My co-teacher/friends Lovely, Tin-tin, Sweet and Jiji perpetually enrolled papang among the benefactors of the Congregation of the Sons of Holy Mary Immaculate. Papang will be included in the intentions during Saturday masses offered throughout the year, daily remembrance in prayers, sacrifices and Apostolate of the SHMI.

Prayers strengthen our family. They affirm the greatness of the love of God and His saving mercy. Each time our friends offer prayers at my papang's wake, our family is given hope that papang shall eventually have his home-coming to the Father's holy dwelling place.

Condolences poured in

This has been the 3rd day since papang left us last January 7. The first condolences that our family received were from some of our neighbors and cousin Ate Bibing, who were there at the hospital, that night my father died. Kuya Manny also sent a message of condolence upon knowing what happened. The next day, in the morning, before the Liturgy of the Hours, my Interlude Family touched me with their consolation. Most of the expressions on that day of the Epiphany were text messages. Papang's wake was finally placed in our home around 1 pm that day. Roxas Family and the Spinola Sisters came. The sisters offered a beautiful prayer for our father. The prayer group of the Chapel of our Lady of Lourdes started the Novena at night.

Yesterday, my co - teachers came and conveyed their sympathy to our family. My sister Daday's PEO family also came and expressed their condolences. Three of Dyan's high school classmates, three of my high school classmates and three of my fourth year SPED students showed their sympathy to our family. Mamang's IMAVEMCO family (where papang used to work as noodle production supervisor) visited us. The Novena prayer continued last night. Our neighbors continue to came and could only say kind words about our beloved father.

Life this time would have been so difficult. It would have been definitely lonely. Our days with our father's wake here home would have been all for grieving. But the Holy works of the Lord, through the Holy Spirit have been amazingly consoling us. The number of people who have showed support is truly giving us joy in this hard moment. More to their presence, financial aids, flowers and other assistance, our family appreciates the prayers that our friends offered. These acts of consolation could be that of Mary, the mother of the Lord's visit to her cousin Elizabeth, where God's presence becomes evident with the visitors' consoling acts. Deo gratias!

Papang's Death was a Spiritual Journey

It was late night of January 2 when my father was breathing differently. He was complaining of a severe abdominal pain. Our family decided to rush him to Zamboanga, where better medical treatments were hoped. My sister Daday arranged the ambulance availability, while I facilitated his medication at the ER of the provincial hospital. The attending physician was so worried, and issued referral for the immediate transportation of my father to Zamboanga Medical Center.

I had no intention of going with my mother and our eldest Toti. There was a force that moved me to accompany them. While inside the moving ambulance, I started praying loudly, and tears start to fall from my eyes. It was a prayer like a child asking for a snow in a desert. I was holding my father's hand, and witnessed how he went through the painful sensations as the car negotiated with the bumpy road. I still remember how he was losing his hopes that we could get to the city. The ambulance went on tracking the winding road on that dawn of January 3. "There's no hope," my father kept on saying. "We could not arrive at the hospital alive," he added. But my prayer has gone even persistent. The situation shed light on my being helpless without God. We finally arrived at the ZMC. My father was given medical attention after some interviews and his X - ray. Our mother could not help us at the time as she almost fainted due to the trip. She looked for a lodging house where she could have some rest. Meanwhile, my brother and I were busy with purchasing medicines. I heard papang cried, "treat me now!" An intravenous medication was treated on him. Through the course of either standing or walking, my spirit was attuned to the Almighty Father. I also asked for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin. Papang was finally admitted at past 10 am to a ward, where he was situated on a hallway. I worked on his Philhealth papers as my brother watched over him. I had no one to turn to but to God. I could feel the pain on my feet, but the thought that I was doing all those for my papang brought me consolation and strength. When I got back to where my father was placed, I said to my brother that he did not deserve this accommodation. We both just cried, since at the moment, we could not afford an expensive hospital.

As soon as my sister Daday arrived, she planned for the transfer of my father to a private hospital. I was back home at the time, when papang was referred to Zamboanga Doctors Hospital. My sister was relentless with this effort, and she got a great help from David Dar, who facilitated their transfer. Papang was admitted to ZDH on the night of the 4th of January. I heard that he was diagnosed and more accurate findings were known. Our eldest messaged me to rush to the hospital, as my father's voice was alarming already. He informed me that the doctor suggested that he be sent home, as his illness would not be cured by operation anymore. My heart was pounding like I could not breath. I traveled back to the city on the night of the 5th of January. My brother kept on asking where was I, since papang's situation was getting worse. I thought, papang would not survive that time. I said to myself, "pang, please wait for me." I again prayed desperately while the bus run through the highway. I took a habal-habal ride to get to the hospital. Once I got there, I saw papang catching up his breath, so helpless and very weak. I embraced him and talked to him and told him that I love him very much. He was a fighter and he struggled more to meet our youngest Dyan, who would be flying to Zamboanga from Cebu the next day. Indeed, Dyan still caught him still surviving. My father could hardly recognize Dyan but there were times that he was responding. Dyan could not help but cry being into such situation. As soon as we settled the bills, the ambulance that would ferry us back home was ready, after Daday facilitated the transportation. The experience on the way to the city came back to us as we were heading home, except that papang this time, could not talk clearly. He just showed on his face the pain he felt, whenever the ambulance crossed a bumpy road. My prayers were for the pain to be eased. My father was truly having a hard day. At around 3 pm, we finally arrived at the provincial hospital in Sanito. Since he arrived here, he started to be in a sleeping mode. Still, he was catching up his breath.

January 7, 2012: Papang took his last breath.

At around 9:00 am, mamang asked me to pray for papang. I was hesitant a bit, for the prayer would be that of "letting go" tone. How could I resist my mamang? I positioned my mouth nearest to his left ear. I instructed him to pray with me. We prayed Psalm 23. As I started saying the prayer, my eyes were filled with so much tears. I could hardly say the words, but I kept on telling him to hold on to Jesus, the Good Shepherd. A shirt, which I wiped on my tears became wet with my tears. The moment became a spiritual travel on my part. I totally let go of my dearest papang to the Good Lord. Mamang noticed a radiance on my father's face as we proceeded with the prayer. Mamang requested for a priest, so I called up kuya Manny. Papang suddenly sounded off when I called up kuya Manny. They came at around 11 am. Fr. Dodong, who anointed papang last year, prayed over him again. He re-anointed my father with oil and even talked to my papang while touching his face. At past 6 pm, Dyan, our youngest ask that we pray the Holy Rosary. I lead the prayer with the intention of following the most Holy Will of the Almighty God. We said the rosary with joyful mysteries and the Litany to the Blessed Virgin. Then we took our dinner. Only me and mamang were left in the room. Papang was breathing hardly. There were times when he stopped breathing for 20 seconds and then breathed again. He was like sleeping, but his breath became slower and slower until he ceased to breath. I touched his breast to sense if there was beating. There was none anymore; he also stopped breathing. He died at 9 pm. I told my mother with ease that papang had no heartbeat and that he already had his last breath. I don't know what force there was that kept me strong. I managed to call everyone to come to the hospital. Mamang cried like the world fell down on her and so I approached and consoled her. When everyone was around, we all prayed the Lord's prayer with the line, "your will be done on earth as in heaven..."

Papang's death was not only his personal journey but also our constant conversation with the Divine. Through it all, everyone of us sought the aid of the saints and the Blessed Mother. Through it all, we believed that God's will comforted us each day.

Thanks to the Creator that we have been gifted with a father, worth our love, admiration and life.

Remembering my Posts on my Dearest Father

Papang peacefully died yesterday (January 7) night at 9 in private room #2 at the Zamboanga Sibugay Provincial Hospital, succumbing to his severe ulcer and complications in lungs and kidney. He stopped breathing a few moments after our family prayed the Holy Rosary, with the intention of accepting the will of the Heavenly Father. Here are the posts I wrote about him.

Father's Day - June 15, 2008
Papang's 60th Birthday - July 5, 2008
Papang's 62nd Birthday - July 5, 2010

Now, his wake is here home. The interment will be on January 14, 2012. It's a painful journey seeing my father inside the coffin but what I have in mind now is that his soul is far more essential. The body shall be reduced to dust but the spirit shall live for eternity.

I witnessed his last moments here, and I honestly say that he had a peaceful death. His breathing was as normal as sleeping, although it got slower and slower, until it stopped. I held his breast and realized that the heart ceased beating. He died, but he shall forever dwell in our hearts. We love our father very much; he is surely missed.